Pets: Losing your best friend
By Kari Vanick
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| Inspired by the story of 14-year-old dog Bodean, Kari Vanick talks about learning from your dog. (Photo provided by Kari Vanick) |
An old friend of mine wrote to me on Facebook after I had posted a blog entry about the meaning of a dog’s name. We haven’t talked since high school, (wow, what Facebook has done for us, eh?) but she wrote to tell me about her dog, Bodean. She and her husband have had Bodean, who was named for the pop group the “BoDeans,” since he was 8 weeks old. He is now nearing the age of 14. While he is doing pretty well, she can see him starting to fail as he has recently lost his hearing and now walks with a limp.
As many of us do, she and her husband first got Bodean to see if they were ready for kids. Her husband travels a lot for his job, so Bodean has been the one by her side through the years. She just cannot imagine what she will do without him. She was looking for my advice on how to deal with the loss she knows is coming. She describes him as her “only son,” since her two children are girls, and fears that she will just be lost without “the best dog ever.”
The love we have for our animals is amazing. They are our companions through thick and thin and love us unconditionally almost like no one else in your life can. Every day they are with us to run and play; to act as our protectors and guardians when our loved ones are out of town, and they always seem to know when you are sad and need them by your side just to have someone close.
So what do you do when you know the end is near? Everyone will have a different way of dealing with the loss and missing their “best friend,” but what I think we have to keep in mind is this: What have you learned?
Our dogs are our companions, but they are also our teachers. They teach us about love, friendship, loyalty and gratitude. Think of all of the things your dog has taught you, including:
Patience. Remember when he used to raid the laundry basket and steal your underwear? Or did he eat your socks on a regular basis and you were always worried if the next one would pass successfully? Did you make that late night emergency trip to the hospital for surgery to have an obstruction removed? Can you remember when he shredded your favorite sandal or chewed up the legs on your coffee table?
Think of how mad you were then, but doesn’t it make you chuckle now? Did he prepare you with lessons of patience so you’d be ready for your kids? Maybe he made you a little less rigid about everything so when your kids came along you weren’t exactly pulling your hair out.
Forgiveness. One of the most important things our dogs teach us is to be quick to forgive. Do we ever realize that this lesson is right in front of us so often?
Is your dog one who, after you scold him, badgers you constantly, staying right by your side to keep loving you? Or is he one who goes and sits in a corner and pouts for a bit (right in your line of sight, of course, so you can’t help but feel guilty), and then comes back to you a few minutes later; with glassy eyes full of forgiveness, pleading for looking for the love he knows you can’t resist giving him? Learning this lesson will give us peace in our soul.
Avoid biting when a growl will do. Wow, do we ever need this reminder every day, huh? Can you think of times in the last couple of weeks that this is true for you? Did you ever think about looking to your dog for this lesson? Next time, watch him. They know when the time is right. Just think of how our relationships would change if we knew too.
Keep Digging Until You Find It. Where do you get your encouragement, love, belief, drive, enthusiasm and endurance from? Some of those things come from within. Who nudges you and keeps you going? Who is your enthusiastic cheerleader every day when you get home, always happy to see you and always happy to hear about your day? Ever think you’re running out of steam? So many times we give up right before we encounter success and we never even knew it. Be like a dog… keep digging until you find it.
So, when you look at your dog and know you don’t have much longer with him, or maybe you’ve recently lost your best bud and your heart still can’t let him go, think about the fun times, the happy times, the frustrating times, laugh at him and his goofy smile, tongue hangin’ out, jumping out of his skin to go for a car ride with you.
Think about the lessons you learned from him. Think about when he comforted you in your time of need like no other could. Cherish those memories and the time you have remaining. Take all of that love, and when you are ready, give it away freely to your next buddy who is ready to teach you all of those things all over again. Take all of that love and give it to a pup in need who doesn’t have a home and desperately needs one from you. Tell him all about his brother and how great he was and let him show you how great he can be too.
Remember this great explanation from a 6 year old about why dogs live such short lives: “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”
The 6-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
What lessons has your dog taught you?
Kari Vanick is the owner of Camp Bow Wow franchise in McHenry. She has two dogs, Skyy and Hooch.
