Home (and away) for the holidays
By Jami Kunzer
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jkunzer@shawsuburban.com
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| The yellow support ribbon often is used to show support for United States servicemen and women. |
Jill Winling knows what it’s like to miss someone during the holidays.
She’s gone to holiday parties without her husband. She’s celebrated on the outside, worried on the inside.
For many military families like hers, this can be the toughest time of the year. They deal with so much more than an empty seat at the table.
“It’s always that concern, ‘If I’m not hearing his voice, is he really OK?’” says Winling, leader of a Woodstock-based Family Readiness Group, which provides support and assistance for families left behind while soldiers are overseas.
Winling and a friend started the group about four years ago when their husbands, both members of the Delta Company, 1st Battalion, 178th Infantry in Woodstock, were deployed to Iraq.
Her husband, Sgt. Christopher Winling, is home now, but could end up leaving again in a couple years.
Winling has kept the group going because the families rely on that connection to one another. They send care packages, get together for outings and holiday parties, share information and concerns and help each other out when they can.
“That tends to be the thing that everybody takes away, that they’ve made those personal connections with people going through the same thing at the same time,” Winling says.
The Winlings will celebrate this year’s holiday together with their 18-month-old twins.
Other families, especially those with children, will have to make an effort to make the holidays “as normal and regular as possible,” says Sandy Hollingsworth, who provides family readiness support assistance for the 34th Brigade in Northern Illinois and oversees the Woodstock group.
Still, she says, “It’s hard to find your new normal.”
“We try to keep the traditions and sense of rhythm as much as possible,” says Hollingsworth, whose husband and son were both deployed at the same time. The two are home now, but the family spent several holidays apart.
“We were very lucky when one or the other was gone during the holidays, we communicated,” Hollingsworth says. “When we were going to sit down and eat, they were able to join us in our prayer over the phone.”
Lt. Daniel Marchik of Crystal Lake, a member of the Minnesota National Guard, says families must have a communication plan.
His wife and two children, ages 8 and 11, all have e-mail addresses, and the family uses Skype, a type of video conferencing over the Internet, when it’s available.
Marchik also relies on calling cards.
He will be in Iraq for both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year and likely won’t return until late January or early February.
“We may do a delayed Christmas and try to celebrate that way,” he says. “It’ll be hard, but the kids understand... They know going into the holidays, even though I’m gone, soon after the holidays are over, I’ll be back.”
Care packages help, Marchik says, but an occasional e-mail or simply a letter goes a long way.
He says he really enjoyed letters sent to him by his son’s classmates.
Many of the soldiers, especially those at larger bases, already have what they need.
“I personally and a lot of the soldiers are interested in getting the job done and getting home,” Marchik says. “It’s not like we need a lot of the care packages... just a note saying, ‘We care about you and we’re thinking about you,’ is a good thing.”
Groups, such as Operation Homefront, provide financial assistance as well as other services to military families during the holidays.
People can adopt a family to help out this holiday season, simply donate gift cards or new toys for families in need, case manager Glenda Cain says. Cain works out of the organization’s South Elgin office, which covers Illinois. For more information or to donate, go to www.operationhomefront.net.
“It’s extremely difficult for the families, especially if it’s their first deployment and they have small children and you have a young wife,” Cain says. “A lot of them don’t have the support of families. They’re just completely on their own.”
Families dealing with third and fourth deployments have difficulties as well, especially during the holidays, she says.
Out of 29 families that Cain has assisted, seven are now splitting up, she says.
One soldier told her that his wife handed him divorce papers when he came back because she just couldn’t take him being gone anymore, she says.
“She knew what he was getting into, but it just didn’t dawn on her, once you’re in the military, it kind of rules your life,” she says.
Sidebar: Show soldiers and vets your pride, appreciation
The forces who protect our country and their families waiting at home continuously deserve recognition of and support for their efforts now and in the years to come. Here are several ideas on how you and your family can show your pride for the military:
• Organize a letter campaign. If you have children in school, ask the classroom to create homemade cards and letters for the military. Creativity is appreciated, as are the messages and stories children can share about their school, what they’re studying and the activities they enjoy. If you don’t have children, ask some of your family members, friends and coworkers to join you in creating cards. Even if you don’t personally know anyone who is currently serving, you can contact your local Veterans of Foreign Wars, American Legion or Red Cross chapters, or the person leading a Family Readiness Group in your community to find out where to mail the letters.
• Show your pride. Demonstrate your loyalty to our men and women in uniform and their families. Tie yellow ribbons on the trees in your yard, hang the American flag in front of your house and use products displaying military emblems and logos to remind people of those serving overseas. For example, Bank of America offers military-themed banking products such as check cards, credit cards and checks.
• Plan a package packing party. Men and women serving overseas appreciate care packages containing everything from food to games to items that remind them of home. Invite all your friends over for a care package packing party. Ask each person to contribute an item for 20 packages. Some suggested items to include are magazines and books; toiletries like deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, unscented baby wipes, hair brushes and packaged food items that are not pressurized and not susceptible to heat or cold.
— Courtesy of ARAcontent
